I noticed something was wrong with Big M today. "It's personal business," he said walking away from me when I asked him what was going on. "I'll meet you down stairs, Ms. Serrano." Tuesdays I meet with him and another student during lunch to talk about school, life, and how to better manage behavior. During the session, it became apparent that there was something really big bothering him, so I ended the session early, letting T join another group that was enjoying lunch, and I asked to talk to M outside in the hallway. "Come on, M, I want to talk to you. I'm worried about you, I want to make sure everything is okay." "I'm alright." We walked to a hallway separated from the main hallway and lobby. "Is it something with your family?" I asked. "No, it's something else." "Is it something with your girlfriend?" "..yeah." "What happened? Did you guys break up?" "No...she's a whore." I asked about where he was getting his information and if he is sure that he is interpreting everything correct. "I know it...she's a whore!" ... "How do you feel right now?" "Pissed off." "Good, it's good that you can acknowledge your emotion and how its making you feel. When you've felt this 'pissed off' feeling before, how did you react?" "I go off." "And what ends up happening because you go off?" "I get locked up."
"Now in this situation, you have to make the decision of whether you are going to go off or instead become bigger than the situation. You already know the consequences of 'going off', and now, you can think of how you can stop the situation from getting the best of you. You just got down writing your academic goal for the rest of the school year: To pass all my classes. Now, in order to pass all your classes, you have to stay focused on your and your work, you have to be in school - so that means no suspensions or getting kicked out. If you let this anger right now get the best of you, and you go off, you'll get suspended or kicked out, and that's not going to help you towards your goal. I know it's going to be very hard for the rest of the day to stay focused on work, but if anything, it'll help you not focus on the situation. You can be better than this situation by focusing on you, focusing on your future and what you can do so that you can get out of here, and not have to deal with any problems or any drama that you are going through right now. You are only 15. You are very, very young, and you still have a lot of your life left. Take this as a sign that maybe it wasn't meant to be, that instead, you can do what you have to do to take care of yourself, so that you can get ahead."
During the whole time I was talking, I could tell he was listening. I was sitting beside him, and although he was looking ahead, I could tell by his eyes and body language that he was really listening to my words. I asked him for his hand, and told him to look at me. "It will be okay. This will pass by, just take care of yourself. Stand up." I outstretched my arms and gave him a hug. "It will be okay, M. you ready to go back upstairs?" He nods. We walk back up to the 2nd floor, and instead of heading into the lunch room to be with his friends, he keeps walking by and walks around the building. I didn't want to walk back downstairs yet, I wanted to make sure he was going to be okay, so I stand next to my teacher's room and start reading the bulletin board she has by her door. A couple minutes pass by and I see someone in the reflection of the door, "I finished my presentation for today..." says M with a big smile on his face. "GREAT!" I could tell he moved past the anger and decided to become focused on himself, ready to take on the rest of his day.
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